D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Despite the fact that the rise in divorce rates has slowed over the past two decades, it’s clear that marital break-up has become a fixture of modern family demographics. Current data indicate that 40 percent of children born to married parents will experience their parents’ divorce during their childhood. But what effect does this have on children?

"There’s no doubt that children do best if they’re raised in a happy, stable, two-parent family," said Robert Emery, a developmental psychologist and director of the Center for Children, Families and the Law.

But that’s an option that many children don’t have. And, Emery stressed, the emphasis is on the happy. When there is a great deal of conflict in the family, children may be better off if the parents separate.

"Children are resilient," Emery said. "Most kids in single-parent families do fine in terms of their emotional adjustment. They don’t look different than children in two-parent families."

A significant number of kids, however, are not able to adjust well to their parents’ divorce. They are more likely to drop out of high school, have problems with depression and have troubled relationships themselves.

It’s also not easy to be a single parent. Discipline is more challenging. Single moms have a harder time economically. And managing the stress of parenting alone can be overwhelming.

Still, Emery does not despair. "A lot of what determines whether children are at risk or not has to do with how parents manage their relationships with their children and with each other after the divorce."

Parents can ease the burden of divorce by recognizing that, regardless of the hurt, anger, grief and betrayal they may be feeling toward their former spouse, they still have a responsibility to their children and need to work together with that former spouse for the sake of the kids.

"In the long run," said Emery, "it’s a more healthy way to respond, not only for your children but for yourself, too."